I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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