So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
