love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
