I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
