small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
