Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
