You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
