first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
