Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
