Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
