so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
