umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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