I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
