Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Come see our sink grown plant.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
