What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dignity is for republicans.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
