so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
