You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
