so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
