i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
