we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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