Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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