We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
