He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
