Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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