My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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