whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
