with your own penis?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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