I'm going to rape someone's good day.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
