Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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