someone get that fucking seahorse.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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