Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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