It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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