Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
