What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
