so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
