We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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