My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
