I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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