On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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