..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
