I didn't shave. On purpose
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Someone shattered a urinal.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
