My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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