Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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