Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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