Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
