So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
