That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
