when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
