Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
