dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
